A new school year means a new team of teachers and school professionals to partner with you in supporting your child. For caregivers with children experiencing mental health issues, communicating with the school team can be useful for ensuring everyone is on the same page. Teachers and school counselors often have insights to success and challenges kids experience at school that parents may not be aware of. Keeping the line of communication open and healthy is key. Here are some ways to engage with your kid’s school team about their mental health in a respectful and productive way.
Share information and context with new teachers
Teachers are often managing large classrooms of kids with competing needs and challenges. In the first few weeks of school, your child’s teacher will be doing their best to get to know your child and every other child in class. It may take some time for them to learn things about your kid that you may already know.
If your child struggles with reading, speaking in class, advocating to use the bathroom, or a variety of other challenges that may inhibit their ability to engage with the school day, you can share that with the teacher in advance! Let them know how your child may need to be supported, so that they can be on the lookout for it from the beginning. Sharing context about your child’s environment, specific challenges, and unique strengths can help the teacher target areas of need and growth early on. Being respectful and open in this communication can also show their teacher that you are open to collaboration to help your child succeed.
Be respectful of the teacher’s time
Teachers often do their best to support each child they teach individually within a demanding environment of many different kids in their class. A teacher may have 30 kids to think about, where your concerns are likely only for your child. Remember that they will get back to you about concerns you have as soon as they can, and that there are likely many different families vying for their attention.
Using kind and understanding language in your communication can help to build a positive relationship with your child’s teacher. This strong relationship will help you and your child down the line if you ever need their support.
Address major concerns in an individual meeting
It can be tempting to try to address all concerns that you may have over email or during school pick up at your own convenience. It can seem easier to shoot off a quick email between meetings or approach the teacher at drop off or pick up, it’s likely that communication will be lost. Over email, it’s a lot harder to have a thorough and collaborative conversation. At drop-off or pick-up, the teacher is likely to be underprepared to discuss your concerns.
Even parent-teacher conferences are a less-than-ideal setting to thoroughly address concerns. These conference nights may not come around so often, which makes it hard to communicate time-sensitive information. In addition, many parents and caregivers are likely to be in attendance, making it harder to get directed individual time without distractions.
If you have specific concerns you want to address, request a dedicated time to meet with the teacher so that they can plan for it in advance. Having a set meeting time will allow the teacher to be present with you and will allow you the space to be heard and have a thorough discussion around your concerns and next steps.
You can even schedule a meeting proactively for children who you know may have a tough time in school. During the first few weeks, everyone is adjusting to the routine, and this may not be the most productive time to discuss concerns that will last through the year. Plan with the teacher in advance to have a meeting about 4-6 weeks into the year to discuss their performance and wellness at school, since this will be more reflective of the challenges that they are likely to face longer term. If your child has adjusted and is doing well by the time the meeting comes around, you don’t need to keep it. Having it on the calendar will help you feel secure in the knowledge that you have a touchpoint coming up with the teacher.
Prepare for the meeting and allow the teacher to prepare too
To ensure that you and the teacher make the most of the time you have, give them a heads-up about what you want to discuss so they have time to prepare. Send them an email listing the topics you would like to discuss, and pointing out areas where you may need their insight or support. Having an agenda for the meeting beforehand can allow the teacher to think through your concerns and come ready with applicable insights and solutions.
Keep an open mind and view the teacher as an ally
Your child’s teacher is likely to have their best interests at heart, and they probably know the ins and outs of mental health care at school and school supports well. It may not always be possible to have a magical solution that fixes all your problems or addresses all concerns, but trust that they will work with you to address them as best they can. Your child’s teacher spends many hours every day with your child, and they will have a good sense of what support might be necessary. With this knowledge, they can be an ally for you in advocating for your child within the school environment.
They can even be an ally outside of the school environment. If you are working with a therapist for your child, or pursuing an assessment, your mental health care professional will likely find great value in speaking to the child’s teacher about their behaviors in school. Mental health care professionals and teachers often collaborate to share insights, updates, and skills to use for effective care.