Kids must go back to school every year once summer wraps, so why can it feel so hard for the whole family each time it comes around? Even though most of the year is taken up by school, the transition back can often feel challenging for kids and parents for a variety of reasons. For kids, going back to school means new teachers, new kids in their classes, and maybe even harder homework or more time spent away from family. For parents, it means managing a new routine, communicating with school professionals, and for some, getting back into a rigorous extracurricular activity schedule with their kids.
Summers can look really different between families, but the one commonality is that summer doesn’t contain the added pressures of school that come back in the fall for all members of the family. Each kid may react to the transition differently, but there are some ways that you can help set your kid and family up for success in advance of the school year.
Start talking about school early!
It can be tempting to wait for the week before school to bring it up, especially if you know your child might resist the idea of going back. But waiting longer to talk about the transition back to school doesn’t help ease the event. It may make the transition more difficult since your child hasn’t had time to get used to the idea and mentally prepare!
Establish a school routine and do some practice
In the spirit of getting prepared for school in advance, both caregivers and kids benefit from a set school routine and a few weeks of practice before the real first day back. During the summer, families may have more leniency with bedtime, wakeup time, and screentime. The adjusted summer schedule may be fun, but that doesn’t mean it will be beneficial during the school year.
Help out the future you by establishing a reasonable and consistent routine for bedtime and wake up times, along with regulated screentime allowance, early. Setting up this routine, clearly communicating it to your children, and giving a few weeks runway before school will ensure that all challenges and adjustment difficulties are smoothed out before the big day! It’s hard work up front, but it will be rewarding when your kids get to school on time and without a fight in the morning!
Encourage your child’s involvement in preparing for school
Let’s be real. No one really loves to be told what to do, and that likely includes your child! One way to help your child feel a sense of autonomy, excitement, and motivation to go back to school is to involve them in the planning process. You could do this in a few ways, while still staying on task!
One option is to involve them in the creation of your routine. Talk with them about what needs to be done before bedtime and before leaving for school, and maybe even encourage them to design or color in a routine schedule they can use as a checklist! Hearing their ideas about what needs to be done before bed and before leaving the house can be a great opportunity for you to learn their understanding of expectations, and to have a clear conversation about what your expectations are if they don’t match up.
Another option is to let them pick out their new backpack for the year, the color of their new notebooks, or the song you listen to in the morning during breakfast. These things may seem small but giving them some control over their environment can help ease any worry and resistance and increase their excitement!
Listen to your child’s concerns
Children may be feeling all kinds of emotions about going back to school. Some kids may be worried about seeing their peers, leaving home, or taking tests, others might be resistant because they have a harder time academically or focusing on school. If your child seems to be acting out behaviorally, or become emotional or withdrawn when school is mentioned, this might be an indicator that they’re experiencing some concern about returning to school. Take this opportunity to have a calm, open conversation about their worries and feelings.
Feel free to ask if they have any thoughts on returning to school, and if there’s anything you can help them with. Even if they are not open to sharing, it sets the precedent that you’re ready for a conversation if they choose to have one. You can communicate to your child that no matter their worries, you will be their teammate. If they have a problem, you can work together to solve it. Taking their concerns seriously and making this commitment to work together can help them feel heard, respected, and supported.
If your child does express concerns, this could also be a good opportunity to talk to them about adults they can trust who will be in school with them. Working with them to identify adults who can help them when you’re not there can ease some of the worry. You can even come up with a plan for who they can contact, and relay that information to their teachers so the team at school is looped in.
Engage in orientation activities, or even create your own
Some schools offer orientation activities like a “Meet Your Teacher Day”, an informal walk-through opportunity in the school building and classrooms, or even a practice bus-ride to school. Schools offer these activities because they know that engaging with them can ease the challenges that come along with the first day back at school. It gives teachers and caregivers alike the chance to show kids that the teachers and school are safe, that their worries likely won’t come true, and that they’re capable of going to school on their own!
Even if your school doesn’t run orientation activities, you can create your own opportunities to do something similar. Do a morning run through of the routine, get the backpack on, do the drive to school, and walk around the outside of the school even you can’t get in. Getting familiar with what the routine will look like in action and with the school setting can ease a lot of tension for kids just by itself. It will also provide another opportunity for kids to voice their concerns to their caregivers, and for them to be addressed before the first real day!
If you can’t go in person to the school, you can do a preview for your child by making them a social story. A social story is a personalized story, told through words or pictures, about an event that is coming up. You can make a social story by writing down or drawing the events that transpire when a kid goes to school in a narrative format. You can even include pictures of the school or pictures of their teachers to make it extra personal! Go through this social story with your kid and take the time to answer any questions they might have!
Bring the excitement and celebrate the new school year
Kids are exceptionally perceptive. The attitude and energy that you bring to events, whether through what you say, the tone of voice you use or body language you display, will impact the way your kid sees the event too.
If you’re talking about how hard math class is going to be this year, your child isn’t going to feel positively about the idea of going back. If you show them the stress and urgency that you feel through your tone and body language when talking about school and all the things that need to be done, they might start to take on some of those same feelings too.
When you’re talking to your child about school, try your best to keep it positive! Focus on the positives of school, like getting to see friends or having art class every day and show your excitement in your voice. When you’re excited, they’re more likely to be excited too!
You can even make celebrating school a fun tradition for your family. Treat the start of a new school year like a birthday or a holiday. You can cook a special dinner, get a sweet treat, or even read an extra story at bedtime to commemorate the amazing accomplishment of going back to school another year. Having a fun tradition or event with family can get them excited for the day to come year and year again!